Parenting itself is one big word, and if I add Single to it, the magnitude increases many folds. Single parenting: we all hear about it, read about it, but how much do we actually know about the real challenges of a single parent?
Bringing up a child all alone really needs balls, and when I say alone, I mean alone, (not counting the cameos as help, No!). Well, there can be N number of reasons for going solo on parenting trip-happy, sad but my reason for being a temporary single parent is MY AMBITION. I am a mother but an ambitious woman too! Hah.
If you ask me, Single parenting was an alien concept for me a year ago. Being married to my best friend never let me feel the stress associated with parenting. We were in this…TOGETHER. Sudden change in the plans of destiny, and I was granted my most revered wish. Obviously, without giving the options of saying ‘NO’! That’s how it all began and I found myself in a pool of uncertainty and anxiety neck-deep; I only knew, I have my dream job which was like an oasis in hot desert. Thereafter started a fresh phase of adjustments; the major sufferer in the whole process was obviously ME!
I used to have nightmares about my daughter falling sick in late hours of night or something bad happening to me.
SINGLE PARENTING: THE CHALLENGES I AM FACING
In the beginning, I used to have nightmares about Snow falling sick in late hours of night or something bad happening to me. I, till date fear how would I handle it. Considering, I am not very social, it worsens my worry. Though the brainy mom in me has put the landline number of land lords on speed dial. I never lock my phone and have made a five-year kid learn how to call ‘them’ if something bad happens to me! Now that may be an exaggeration but what if it happens for real? She is not even big enough to unbolt the doors and call some help!
Being a late night person, things are bit difficult for me now. First, Snow doesn’t sleep without me, and second, I can’t wake up early at any cost. So, even if I retire in my bed at the so-called ideal time, I am just wasting my time which I could use to do some useful things like reading, writing, if at all my princess allow which is a far cry. I have been like this always but earlier I had a back. So basically a new owl is in the making. We two are up late and keep doing weird funny stuff, with short spells of reading, talking, playing, shouting, whatever suits us. As a result, next morning begins with waking up startled, most of the times. You can spot me dragging Snow literally to bathroom where she bathes half asleep. Since, it’s been a year now; things are falling in place…kinda…we are kind of getting hang-of it.
I never realized before the importance of precious peaceful moments! Now, I am like…Peace…what is that?
I never realized before the importance of precious peaceful moments! Now, I am like…Peace…what is that? Do you even have an idea when was last time I actually prayed? I don’t remember! The moment I fold my hands, she has to say something, and I am to listen THEN AND THERE! No aarti or mantra, for that matter, ever reaches its end. We humans seek divine for some guidance and I, bad human (woman) end up either shouting in the process or saying…okay! Let’s just leave God alone!
For kids, I always detested the ideas like watching TV or eating candies. But that was before. Now, If I need some…I say some ‘Me’ time, I have to remind her, “baby, don’t you want to see that cartoon of yours today?” I have to helplessly buy her stuff (I don’t want) every day after school. I feel like I am spoiling her, but then I realize who else will?
Sending food to her tummy is the toughest job. She is a fussy eater. Now you would say, ‘do this’ or ‘do that’. I have done everything wise people! The moment she has something undesired in her mouth, she pukes, Yeah, irrespective of the place. There is a reason why I have failed in making her drink milk. There are days when she doesn’t eat at the right time, and then later demand the very moment you think you are ready to slip into your dreamland,
“I am Hungry mom!”
“No…You are not! ”
“Yes I am! ”
Sleep, if you can! How easy it was with her father beside. Just shove him and turn to other side. Oh, I miss that luxury!
And, the worst of all is attending the PTM. Somehow, the School has to organize it on the very day when I have prior commitments and on top of that, poor parents like me come to know of it at the last moment. Great, thanks for adding to the huge pile of guilt that I already have!
And just recently she had to miss participation in her dance activity just because her mother was herself busy in a training program which consumed maximum waking hours of the day. I could not give her time for practice or as an option could not enroll her to a dance class. Can’t tell how bad I feel! Well, I have only one Me. Gosh, how I wish I could replicate myself and be everywhere I am supposed to be. But we know that’s impossible, right!
Now if you are done judging me let me tell you that I am not all up for complaining. I do have amazing parenting moments like you all! She is all mine and we share a bond very special but THE POINT IS, TAKING ‘GOOD’ CARE OF A CHILD ALONE IS EXTREMELY TAXING. I AM DOING IT BECAUSE I HAVE TO. HOPEFULLY MR COOLHEAD READ THIS POST AND PLAN HIS MOVE SOON.
Till then, I am hanging on…